make a run down.

life is in a tough position right now.

money.
i owe 14 grand to isu. im broke as fuck. i have less than a dollar in my bank accounts. i make no moniez at my job. i am a horrible waitress. i hate it there anyways. two of my bills are past due. another one will be on monday. rent is in about two weeks. i'm almost out of dog food and milk. i could use some new clothes. and i want a bike to save on gas and to get in shape.
personal.
right now im not sleeping. obviously. i mean the past few days i haven't slept much. i'm going through a mania state i think. i was nocturnal but now i just have insomnia. i hate my body. i gained back half of the weight i loss. i need to loose 10 pounds plus what i just gained. i want to whiten my teeth. and get a tan. and feel pretty.
boys.
i haven't heard from tommy for two weeks now and i don't know why. you shouldn't spend days on end with someone and then just drop off the face of the planet. it hurts. i mean i like him. and i just don't get what the hell is going on. i wonder if i have been replaced. or if he has even thought about me at all. i doubt it. and zack said that he is seeing someone else now. great. i am miserable and my life blows and my ex is happy with some new whore. oh well. he gained 40 pounds and has no direction in his life now. wow i'm a bitch. but whatever i need to do to feel better about it i guess. i'm not hurting anyone. he doesn't even know this journal exists.
friends.
i wish kristin was back. and i have been neglecting katie. i'm a bad friend. i haven't heard from char in such a long time. she doesn't return my calls. please if you know why people are ignoring me, fill me in. maybe i can fix it. i mean if one person hates something about me odds are other people do too right? i think so.

anyways.
i feel stressed. aggravated. annoyed. depressed. and fat.
i am an ussy.