give me a break please.

this is really confusing. and it is throwing my emotions all over the place.
i have so many emotions i don't even know how to describe them. all i know is that it is really exhausting and i have no idea what to do or think.

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when we are together, everything is perfect. and i love it. and i can't get enough of it. all i want to do in those moments is soak you up as much as i can. soak you up until i am full to the brim of my eyes, until the brim of my vision is only you.
when we are apart, you torment me with games, intentional or not, they stomp the life out of me. you ignore me, you make me question if you actually do care about me, you break plans with me without even telling me, and all of the above makes me very upset.

but, i really am realizing that i over think some aspects of this.

i don't think you think about things how i do. you don't seem to see it as i do either. and i have just come to the conclusion that this is how you are. you think of your own needs before any one's else, including your family, your friends and me. i think you were honest when you said you don't mean to come off like that, that it's nothing on purpose. then that would mean that you are just a stupid boy, making sense out of why you have had some many short term girlfriends. which makes it all kind of come together.

i have a lot of choices to make. stay or go? if i stay, how long do i ride it out? what if i am riding it out and it just keeps going how it is? he has to make my time worth it. has to make me seem appreciated. has to stick to his word.
so many choices to make. and most of the people that i have asked for their opinion on what to do, say go. but that doesn't feel right. i don't know what to do.