lullaby.

more than anything, i want someone who will love me as much as i love them. i want someone who will respect, cherish and take care of me as much as i do for them. my heart is not a game, not an object for your entertainment, not a toy. i am undeniably human. and i need someone who realizes this and will never tread that line that i fear to feel for the countless time.

s o m e w h e r e , y o u a r e o u t t h e r e .

i had a hard day. and i am being ignored for the most part. goodie.
i couldn't get to sleep last night until six a.m. and i had to work at 9:30. i didn't wake up until my boss called me at 9:38. so yeah i was damn late. my allergies have really been bothering me. especially this morning. sniffling, watery eyes, and i have hives all over my belly and some spots on my thighs. pure joy. pudding pop and i were taking about going to the zoo today, and i wanted to, but i really was not feeling up to it. so i texted him telling him i was not feeling very well. i haven't heard a word from him to this minute. a note to all men- when the girl you are seeing says she is sick, you should probably act like you care, otherwise, at least in my case, she will feel like even more shit. i will die the day a honest man makes me feel worthy of any of the praise and care i know i deserve. instead of going home and going to sleep, i hung with one of my friends that is going through some tough times. but really, it is exhausting. i can't help her all by myself. i can't handle her mood swings. i can't handle one extreme to the next. on top of it, me not not taking my proper meds isn't helping. it is straight up dragging me down.
where to even end.

i don't know what the hell i am doing anymore. the majority of the people i deeply care about i hardly ever see. i am getting wrapped up in this world consumed with things i really am not comfortable with. people i am not comfortable with.
i can't breathe. and i can't find my way back to myself.