i thought you died alone a long long time ago.

Jobe. Judah. Gabriel. Jethro. Julian. Adam. Paul. Liam. Orion. Jedidiah.
Magnolia. June. Willow. Ila. Maddison. Julia. Apple. Ela. Eden. Addison. Annette.

i watched Schindler's List finally. it was made in 1993, but speilberg took a really artistic approach to the angles and lining of the film. it was crafted more poetically than many other films i have seen, especially for the era. not only did the source of the story come from history, it was as vivid as if the events were happening right in front of you, and you were part of the cast. capturing every emotion that one going through the holocaust could have been feeling.
after i watched it, i did a little research on genocides and gendercide. there is no hiding that the trail of tears was a sadistic act by greedy settlers. but what i didn't discover until i was doing my own exploration is that 4,000 out of the 15,000 cherokee's that were uprooted from their homelands and forced to travel half way across the country died either from exposure, disease, or starvation. i know that this is not the same as the holocaust, but this discrimination in the case of the "five civilized tribes" is considered genocide. if the tribes didn't leave the land they had lived in for, shit i don't know, hundreds maybe thousands of years, they would be killed. this was the first recognized case of genocide in the new america. and what really upsets me most about it is that these were my ancestors. my cherokee roots come from crab orchard origins in southern illinois. an eighth may not be a lot to many, but it is still enough to be identified from two out of the three federally recognized cherokee organizations. and it is still enough for me to remember who i came from.
i know that all these events are dead and gone, but there is still genocide and gendercide (mostly femicide) still going on all over the world. some we may not even know about.
it makes me really torn up that i can't do much about it. there are so many things i wish i could help with but at this point where i am, i can't. i really wish i would have done amnesty international in high school, they maybe i would have some kind of idea of where to start. people should be able to live without day to day fear. day to day hunger or pain. i just don't understand why someone could just hate someone else because of their color, their gender, their religion, their family structure, the list can go on and on. and that is horrible. hatred shouldn't be a list. on the right side of this link, there is a real descriptive list of types of discrimination and manifestations i found really knowledgeable. i just wish their was something i could do about the things in the world i know that just aren't right.
i want to change the conditions that farm animals are raised and living in, including the means of which they are transported to their slaughter and the way they are slaughtered. There needs to be more and more and more education on pregnancy, reproduction, AIDS, HIV, and other STDs. with even a hundred more people with that knowledge, countless lives would be helped and saved. there are just so many issues, so many wrongs that need to be fixed and i wish i could help with the three big ones i just listed among with many others including mental health, world hunger, and extreme poverty.
i can imagine that if one thinks about this stuff all day long, it will drive them crazy. it has been on my mind the past couple of days and i am already sick with frustration.