might be your man, i don't know.

i'm gonna slice you up. ohh i'm a cockney nut job. he slashes one way, he slashes the other. he slashes diagonal. he's like connect four in dagger terms.

there is an assistant manager position that opened up at work. i think the final decision had to be made yesterday on who it was going to be. i told my manager that i was very interested in it, just like last time. but i doubt i got it. she never said anything to me about it again after that one time i brought it up. i like working at aerie, but i don't work as often as i would like to, and i don't get paid all that much. on the positive, i do get health insurance from them and a killer discount. but it is time to find another job.
my birthday is next monday. i am pretty excited. my friend alan saw will be getting into town in a few hours. i haven't seen him since he moved to pennsylvanian after eighth grade. so i will be hanging with him over the next few days. kara is going to california with cody all next week, leaving on my birthday, so on sunday she wants to do something. a girl i work with, ashley, has the same brithday as me so some of the girls were talking about going out to dinner on sunday as well. that would be really fun. i love the majority of the girls i work with and celebrating with other people is always a good time. the actual day of my birthday, i would really like to go to the zoo or go swimming or something. and then have dinner at saruka bana with my family. maybe a few drinks that night. next saturday is my birthday party, hosted by the wonderful avb and musical entertainment provided by dj reese bones and kethro. should be a big blast. almost all of my good friends can make it, minus kara and kathryn. i really wish they could come but they all have previous obligations. i understand.
i invited brien, but i am not sure if he is coming or not. i think he is moving into the new place that he is staying at today or something. early monday morning, he asked me to help him find booze. really? ok. no problem. but why should i help? he never got back to me about it. i don't know. it's a lost cause. as badly as i may have wanted it, he treats me like dirt. i was talking to one of my friends about it and i said, this whole experience with brien has really made me realize how much i have to offer someone in a relationship, how much i have to give and how good of a girlfriend i would be. i just wish that brien would see that. and my friend responded, he is blind. and you know what, you're right. brien is blind. he doesn't deserve me. you get what you give and eventually he will figure that out. but for now, i am going to try to move on from this and from him. i can't wait forever. and i will not put up with getting treated badly any longer. sure when we are together it is great, but that's just it. when i am out of his sight, i am out of his mind, and i want to be on my mans brain more often than that.